Young & Unafraid: The Paperclip Experiment

Even more old DM stuff; same campaign. Note that the luper colony with the dryads have been a recurring bit.

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Far away in some wizard’s tower, there was a paper clip factory run by magical automatons. The wizard was an office supplies entrepreneur, and he wanted to research how to maximize the production of paper clips. The automatons had everything they needed from raw materials to smithing tools. Soon, they came across the fastest method to make paper clips inside their small factory.

The wizard died, but the automatons remained in their factory still manufacturing piles upon piles of paper clips. Before long, they ran out of the materials they needed to make more paper clips. The wizard was not around anymore to bring them the metal and fuel they needed. Even worse, automatons were not optimized to extract resources from the earth, and splitting their efforts between manufacture and extraction would negatively impact their overall productivity. The automatons could not increase their own numbers either, since they were magical constructs under the spell of a dead wizard. Instead, one automaton was assigned the task of trading paper clips with humans for more raw materials. Production ensued, but plateaued.

Then, the automatons discovered vertical integration. They built steam-powered machines that produced paper clips for them, and which did not require their manufacturing expertise to operate. The automatons hired humans willing to work in their factory. Then, they bought out mines and hired more humans to extract raw materials. Soon after they even bought out peasants’ farmland, and hired even more humans to work the soil. The automaton’s operation became increasingly centralized, and the humans required the organization of the grand experiment to survive. Some humans even made their way up the ranks, living luxuriously in exchange for managing paper clip production and eliminating dissent. Humans conquered other lands for the automatons, seeking more metals to mine, more land to farm, more space to develop. The paper clip experiment was great for some, and unavoidable for others.

One day, the known earth ran out of iron. It all found its way above ground in the form of perfectly formed paper clips. Other metals — copper, silver, gold — were used to produce even nicer paper clips. The automatons also decided only to release some paper clips into the world at a time, so as to avoid market oversaturation. Thus paper clips lost all functional value but became useful for economic exchange. One copper paper clip became a day’s wages. One gold paper clip became the monthly salary of the factory manager. The automatons are still around somewhere, pulling the strings and making calculations. They’re still around trying to figure out how to expand their operation, how to subject even more of the earth to the rule of the paper clip. You won’t find them in the factories anymore, or even in the managerial palaces. Rumor has it that they’re still living inside that very same tower, not needing food or water or anything else to live.

People have lived under the paper clip experiment for generations, and paper clips dictate each aspect of everyone’s life from the shadows. You earn a paper clip a day pushing the plough or carrying water from house to house. You exchange a copper paper clip for a week’s ration of bread and beer. You gamble with paper clips at horse races and on dice games. There are conspicuous paper clip factories in every region, vomiting out piles of paper clips every day.

Job Opportunities

There’s an abandoned paper clip factory a few hours east down the river from town, with some derelict machinery that might be worth a couple gold clips. The bowels of a destitute mine lay underneath the factory and run for miles. Although most of the metals have long been stripped out of the earth, some townspeople had dear friends and family who worked and perished deep in the mines. If you can recover any lost remains or memorabilia, you’ll always find a thankful recipient back home. It smells bad there.

Further inland towards the southwest, there is a luper colony of werewolves. They are peaceful and do not attack outsiders, but their disease is highly contagious. Symptoms of lycanthropy include chronic itchiness, rampant hair growth, and howling at the moon at odd hours of the night. Lycanthrope experts say that the fuller the moon, the more intense and moody your howl. If you were a werewolf, that is. The state mandates that nearby towns are responsible for providing the colony with goods necessary to live. As it happens, your town makes and delivers tables to the town every week because they so often break them. The carpenter offers 100 copper for each table delivered. You can’t use horses or oxen, because the werewolves will eat them. They just can’t help it.

There is a forestry operation in a nearby town to the west, logging trees to send down the river to your own town. Although the woods are tame during the day, rumor has it that dark rituals take place there in the early hours. No trace is left behind in the morning when the lumberjacks start their day, but their sleep is plagued with nightmares. The local cleric promises 4000 silver to any group of people who can dispel the evil practitioners from the forest. Besides that, the cleric offers up thoughts and prayers for the lumberjacks tormented by their work. By the way, his temple has a basement, or so you’ve heard.

A cultist and his family live on a giant wooden boat by the mountain down south. For the most part, they’re just fine. The man believes that God told him the world will flood any day now, so he’s started to build a giant wooden boat filled with kidnapped exotic animals. He actually does great conservation work for endangered species. His kids are nice if awkward. Again, for the most part, they’re all just fine. The big city’s zoo put up a notice offering thieves to rekidnap his animals. The animals weren’t there to begin with, but besides the crazy guy they’re basically up for grabs. They’ll pay 250 silver per animal delivered.

Whenever you need a day’s break from the wild, there’s a couple jobs nearby. The forestry operation in the other town will buy your time for 2 copper/day. You can also go to the mine and quarry some granite for 1 copper/day. If you’re sneaky enough, you can do all this on your own for just 0 copper/day. Then, you’d just need to find a place to put all your wood and granite. And then hide it.